He's Really Gone: Navigating Your Feelings After Friend Departure

When a friend announces they’re moving to a new state, it’s natural to feel a range of emotions, from mild annoyance to existential despair. While your friend might see this as a “career opportunity” or “fresh start,” you know the truth: this is a betrayal on par with Brutus stabbing Caesar.

Still, as mature adults, we must find a way to process the disloyalty. Below are some scientifically unverified but emotionally resonant steps to help you navigate this traumatic event.

Step 1: Acknowledge Your Feelings (and Blame Your Friend)

Before you can heal, you must feel. Take a moment to name your emotions: anger, denial, jealousy, rage, hunger. It’s okay if the lines blur. Sometimes the sadness of your friend’s relocation feels a lot like low blood sugar. Sometimes it is low blood sugar. Either way, get a snack.

Write in your journal: “My friend’s new zip code has created a void in my heart.”

Then underline it. Twice. That’s progress.

Step 2: Move Through the Stages of Friendship Grief

1. Denial: “They’ll be back. No one actually likes [new state].”

2. Anger: “They purchased a house. That made me think we were permanent.”

3. Bargaining: “If I visit once a month, they’ll miss me so much they’ll move back, right?”

4. Depression: “What’s the point of brunch?”

5. Acceptance: “At least they’re far enough that I don’t have to help them move again.”

You may cycle through these stages hourly. That’s fine. Healing isn’t linear, especially when the group chat can keep the pain fresh.

Step 3: Channel Your Emotions Constructively

The worst thing you can do is bottle it up. Instead, try one of the following coping strategies:

• Go for long, meaningful walks Stare dramatically at trees. Pretend you’re in a music video called “Left Behind.”

• Journal daily Start with phrases like “I am at peace with their relocation” until you almost believe it.

• Pick up a new hobby  Pottery, maybe. You can make them a farewell mug that says “TRAITOR.”

• Host a goodbye party Smile too much. Laugh too hard. Make sure everyone can tell you’re barely holding it together. They should feel the effort you're putting in.

Step 4: Redefine the Relationship

You’ll need to recalibrate what friendship looks like now that one of your best buds lives hundreds or thousands miles away. Fortunately, modern technology has provided tools for maintaining emotional intimacy, such as:

• Sending each other memes at 2 a.m.

• Passive-aggressively liking their new local friends’ posts.

• Scheduling video calls that you both cancel because “this week’s just been crazy.”

It's okay if your friendship becomes a shell of its former self.

Step 5: Let Them Go (But Dramatically)

If the friendship isn't working, consider letting it go. But don't just let if fade gracefully. That's for weaker, less important friendships. Instead, consider a passive-aggressive text wishing them a nice life.

Conclusion

Losing a friend to another state isn’t the end, it’s merely the beginning of a long-distance emotional endurance test. You will adapt, you will grow, and someday, you’ll be strong enough to say the words: "No, I don't want to visit you in Ohio." And that is when you'll know you've healed.